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04:33pm 31/03/2009
mood: lazy
I'm so happy that I only have a about five weeks of school left. I just want to be done with this semester. I want to be home and it be summer. I need to stop procrastinating because it is totally messing with my ability to get anything in on time that makes sense.Writing papers about ice cream and pokemon seems good at four in the morning but not when I actually have to hand the paper in. Need to start that facility design project. Need to do lots of things before the end of the semester.

I'm going to Ireland spring of my junior year.  Michelle and I plan to see Basshunter while there, unless he isn't touring then which would suck.
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07:43pm 15/12/2008
mood: restless
I think I finally learned my lesson about procrastination after seeing my grades for the semester. I also learned my lesson about sleeping through class at least once a week. I really hope my mom doesn't throw a fit when she finds out. I'll just have to think of a really good excuse when there really isn't one. On the right side I got Bs in two of my classes. 
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11:37am 20/11/2008
mood: cold
Do we create our own reality?

Can't wait for Thanksgiving. I love the holiday and all it's delicious foodness.
03:24pm 31/08/2008
  I want to go to a diner in Jersey City. It has 31 different kinds of pancakes. They have meat pancakes and pancake wraps and It all looks so good.  
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09:11pm 11/08/2008

I love my new laptop. It's green and cute and is sooo much better than my old computer. I also love jumping, even though I thought I would hate it. Jumping bareback isn't as hard as I thought it would be. Eight more days until I move to Ohio.

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11:02am 30/01/2008
mood: hungry
I don't even care anymore. I have no idea what I want to do. I have to stop putting things off. 

The only good parts of my week are thursday afternoons and saturdays. When did that happen?
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07:05pm 30/08/2007
   I'm really stupid. I mean I have to be to get bashed in the face by a horse's head. At least I don't have a black eye. That would suck. I just have a bruise and a swollen cheek. Well actually my cheek isn't that swollen anymore but it was yesterday when it first happened. And I keep getting really bad headaches if I move my head around too much. 

I can't stand most of the girls at my barn. Kelsey's pretty cool and not a total snot despite the fact that she could get away with it. Amanda' not bad either except if Lauren's around. It's a little weird though cause some of them are barely teenagers and they act so much older than they are  sometimes and other times a five year old is more mature.
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01:45pm 25/08/2007
  I want to see a polo match. I wonder how coordinated you'd have to be to play? I don't think I could hit a ball with a mallet while galloping on horse back. I also want to go to see if Kelsey will fall off again. I'm not hoping she does but apparently she forgets about walls and such while she plays and sometimes ends up falling off. 

One more week of volunteering and then I'm done until the next long school break. I need to start my summer school work and fix my schedule.
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07:47pm 17/08/2007
  If anyone is interested in bowling tomorrow night contact me unless you're a monosyllabic jerk in which case don't.  
02:43pm 17/08/2007
  I am so lame.

I also cantered Gotcha yesterday. I finally sat a few good strides instead of counter cantering like usual.
08:58pm 15/08/2007
mood: determined

I'm being payed thirty dollars to massage a horse. Which is great because I've made no money this entire summer. Plus I need to get a few birthday gifts for people. Also I need or rather want to visit a tack shop. I also need to find a day to take Bree and maybe Alaina to the new barn. Bree wants to but I don't have any Thursdays from now until school that aren't occupied with volunteering. Pony Club seems cult-ish. 

Nothings really changed. Very stagnant. More than likely because I haven't sought the company of most of my friends as of late. Though I am looking to change that.

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09:40pm 03/08/2007

Blah Blah Blah 

I want some more cheddar and sour cream chips. They are really tasty. But it isn't really smart to feed them to horses. 

French Onion Soup of the diner variety was good but nothing beats chicken noodle from the deli by Alaina's. Can't wait until September when the soup man starts making it again. 

Not going up to Lendon's this year. That's sad.

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08:59am 21/07/2007
mood: sleepy
Wow. I finished. It took me longer than I thought it would. But it was worth the time. Definitely. 

I'm not going to sleep. There's no point.
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09:27pm 18/07/2007

The whole barn was flooded. There was about a foot of water in the school barn and the indoor was a lake. So that led to a bunch of kids being annoying and cranky because they couldn't ride. Then I kept trying to occupy myself by cleaning tack with everyone else and the head counselor lady was like no you don't need to do that led the campers do it. I like cleaning tack in that weather. Plus they all sucked at cleaning tack. They were doing it wrong. Some of them were putting soap all over the bits. You're not supposed to even if you wash them off after wards. It makes them taste even worse. Not to say bits taste really good because generally they don't unless you have those bit wipe flavor things. I can't remember who actually put the bit in their mouth last year or maybe the year before. I'll guess it was Bree but that might even be past her. Then again she did hit me with a golf cart. She also fed Magic cheddar and sour cream chips. Which is somewhere on level with hitting people she likes with golf carts.

I need to actually hang out with human beings this weekend or maybe tomorrow. I love being at the barn so much but it really makes it hard to see certain people. 

Really random side note: I have the distinct urge to go jousting. I don't know where that came from.

Is anyone actually going to see Gogol Bordello?

10:12pm 17/07/2007
  I have sun poisoning. It stings really bad because I apparently have second degree burns on my shoulders and by my collarbone. On a much happier note I saw Order of the Phoenix twice and enjoyed it.  
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09:48pm 12/07/2007
mood: too many good emotions
I'm all sunburn and blisters and bug bites and painful movements. But it feels amazing to be in this kind of pain. That sounds crazy but it's true. I love that my skin is stinging and that my legs itch. I love how my feet have blisters like they used to and that every part of me hurts more than it has in months. Maybe it's sick to take such pleasure in feeling this way but all of that stuff is a relief. Above all it feels like coming back to a place I wish I'd never left. I guess this is what I'd missed this past year. I'm content and exhausted. I haven't felt this good in awhile. They said I looked good and I haven't heard that in so long. I'm not back where I left off but I'm getting there. I'm not ready to show again, not by a long shot. One day very soon I will be. Maybe it won't be Lendon's or a national event but a show. Any show would do. As long as I place or have scores in the sixties, preferably like 65 or higher. But I suppose beggars can't be choosers. stupid saying cliche thing.

I'm riding three days a week and I can ride two to three hours a day for free. I can do whatever I want, well within reason, on whatever horse I'm told to ride. I run around and help all the young kids tack. A few of the bitchy girls, who looked at me funny when they found out I couldn't canter or jump yet, couldn't even bridle their horses so I did it for them. I'd rather know that right now.
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07:25pm 06/07/2007
mood: blah
Infinite amounts of boredom. Becky's gone to a Civil War reenactment which is cool seeing as she'll have fun but that leaves me lacking my usual Friday plans and part of my Saturday plans. So basically I've done a huge chunk of my bio work and read some of Philosophy: Who Needs It. 

On a completely different not I apparently scare children who come to my house. The kid who lives on the block behind me came to the door because his baseball went in to my backyard. He was shaking and could barely stutter out the word ball. I don't think I'm scary and I didn't say anything mean. I reserve that for people I actually know. 

Also I'm volunteering at my new barn. It unfortunately is for a camp they do. I'm not fond of the idea. Most everyone I've met there so far has been all eww you don't own a horse now we absolutely most not even breath the same air as you. Which is how a lot of girls who ride are. Or they think you suck without even seeing you ride and have to be really big bitches about it. But I like being around the horses. They have better attitudes than most girls. Including myself.
11:07pm 03/07/2007
mood: curious

Schoolwork is kicking my ass and I'm not even in school. When did summer become this stressful? I have to go to the school to switch AP Bio textbooks because some idiot cut pictures out from the pages I need so I can't read anything. I actually I have to start my bio packets. I have to do Gersh's assignments and the SUPA stuff. Must retake math regents seeing as 79 is not cool at all. 

I have to figure out if anyone is actually going to see Gogol Bordello. If so I want to go. I need to be less into procrastinating. 

On a more pleasant note I will actually be having people step foot in my house very soon. My upstairs room thing is almost clean and able to be lived in. All it really needs is some type of furniture to sit on. Well I need a frame for my bed but that's not too important. I don't mind sleeping on a mattress that's on a floor.

08:22pm 01/07/2007
  Smores are about to be made. Becky won't break out the chocolate fountain but the smores are almost as good because she has a smore maker that's fun to play with.  
11:08pm 13/06/2007
mood: disappointed
I haven't updated in about three weeks and a whole lot has changed since then I guess. I want to say that everything is rainbows and butterflies and flowers but it never is. Somehow though as fucked up as everything has been lately its not that bad. I've been thinking about things more seriously. Mostly I've been thinking about the past as opposed to why we don't even like each other or why she hasn't called or whatever.

Funny thing about missing people is sometimes the feeling hits you when you least expect it. I hadn't thought about him in a long time. Hadn't dared to say anything about him. And then on Monday sitting in the grassy knoll with everyone around you were there. I didn't think about you on my birthday or on Christmas but I thought about you on the last day of school. That makes me feel guilty. What's even worse is that I don't know if I should feel guilty.
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